A Story on Thoughts

This story, written by Mavis Karn, is about thoughts and it made me pause in a way that very few stories do. I wanted to share it with you because it challenged me to consider how often I follow my thoughts automatically. It has become one of the most helpful ways I’ve found to think about the relationship I have with my own mind.

"I was brought up in a family that, for as far back as I can remember, shared the belief that any time a bus came by, we had to get on it and ride it to wherever it was going. We didn’t know that we believed that – it was simply a way of life to us that we never questioned. I, along with the rest of my family, spent most of my waking hours on buses, spent most of my money on bus fares, and found myself frequently lost and wandering around places I didn’t want to be and wondering why I was always so tired and joyless and confused. 

One morning, as I was standing at the bus stop ready for another long day of bus rides ahead, a man I’d never seen before said to me, “Excuse me, but why are you always riding the buses?” 

“Well”, I said, somewhat defensively, “everyone knows that’s what buses are for. To ride. My whole family has always ridden them all day long – sometimes even all night long.” 

He looked at me as though I was the one who was strange. 

“That’s not what buses are for”, he said. “They are for getting you where you want to go. Haven’t you noticed that everyone doesn’t always ride every bus?” 

The man was beginning to annoy me with his peculiar ideas, so I ignored him and climbed on the very next bus that came along.

One day, while I was feeling particularly tired, frustrated, and a little bit hopeless about my life, I looked out the bus window and saw people walking, sitting, laughing, talking, and just simply enjoying themselves. I very much wanted to feel what they seemed to be feeling. 

I decided to see what would happen if I, just once, let the bus go by without getting on it. 

As I sat at the bus stop, I saw the next bus coming, and I looked around nervously to see if anyone from my family could see me. Instead of getting on, I let the bus go by. 

It was a very strange, unfamiliar and somewhat confusing sensation.

 Then another bus came by, and another, and another, but I let them all go by. 

It was still awkward and unfamiliar, but it was getting easier and easier. 

Soon, I noticed that I still had the money I would have spent on those buses, and I hadn’t gotten lost once all day. In fact, the more buses I didn’t get on, the more energy I had. 

Then along came a bus that was on its way to where I wanted to go so I jumped on. I got off at my destination and all of a sudden I knew that the stranger at the bus stop had been right:  

Buses are just there to help me get where I want to go, and I don’t have to ride the ones that will get me lost or take me to places I don’t want to be.   

There was nothing wrong with me, or even with buses. I had just believed something that turned out to be untrue.”

-Mavis Karn

Since reading this, I’ve noticed how often I automatically climb aboard whatever thought happens to arrive.

Sometimes it’s a bus of resentment.

Sometimes it’s worry. Anxiety. Self-pity. Fear or self-doubt

Sometimes it’s getting on the bus of a story my mind has created about the past or future, forgetting that neither exists in this moment

What this story gave me was a simple picture I can return to through the day. I imagine myself standing at the bus stop - it happens to be one in New York, under an overhead Subway rail. One of those dark gray buses pulls up, the doors open, and instead of automatically getting on, I simply stand there. The doors close, the bus pulls away, and it disappears into the distance with a trail of gray smoke.

The thoughts still come. The buses still arrive. But I’m discovering that I don’t have to ride every one of them. Every time I let one pass, I am strengthening a muscle - the ability to choose which thoughts I follow and which ones I simply let continue on without me. And when The Magic School Bus comes along  - thoughts that will move me closer to the life I want to create - that’s the one I choose to ride. 

If you’re inclined to answer this please do, and if not that’s completely okay. If you do, I may have something valuable to share that could support you.

I’d love to know: What bus have you renewed your annual pass to for far too many years, and what might become possible if you finally let it pass?